Heaven
by Brigadier-Erin-Lightning
Summary: (One-Shot songfiction to "Tears In Heaven" by Eric Clapton) Edward Elric has finally found his way back to his home world...but is Alphonse Heidriech ready to let him go?


**_"Heaven"  
A songfiction by Erin Lightning_**

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_**"Would you know my name,"  
**Edward's lips melded against Alphonse Heidriech's, drawing the younger into a deeply passionate kiss, enveloping him in all the rage, the confusion, and the sadness that seeped through Ed's frail body, threatening to draw him under like tsunami waves drawing in a child. His arms wrapped tightly around Al in a protective, loving manner, Edward's tongue explored the deepest regions of Al's mouth, his hands clutching the boy's sides as if he just couldn't bring them close enough to one another.  
"Edward-" Alphonse yelped, drawing himself away from the kiss to suck in a deep breath before Ed pulled him back in for seconds. FullMetal's cold, clammy metal hand sought its way underneath Alphonse's outfit, searching, searching for warm, soft flesh._

_**"If I saw you in Heaven?"  
**Ed's eyes flashed open as he finally brushed a hand against Al's muscular, but still subtle stomach, and he glared at the younger man, golden eyes like two sparks of fire, dancing with emotion. Into his kiss, Edward poured everything that he had held back for so long now, so very long. Everything that had nearly taken him from his dreams and hopes: had nearly cost him this very moment.  
And for a split second, he wished they had cost him this goodbye. He wished it more then anything else in the world._

_**"Would it be the same,"  
**Al pulled away at last, unable to hold the tight grip any longer. Against Edward's trenchcoat-covered shoulder, Al's head collapsed, his breath coming in soft pants, eyes flashing up like cool, flowing water. His hands, finally making use of themselves, gripped Ed's shoulder with all their might, and tears fell from his face, lighting his features with angelic innocence.  
His voice no greater then a whisper, he cried, "I don't want you to go.."_

_**"If I saw you in Heaven?"  
**Wrapping his companion tighter to himself, Edward bowed his head to Al's shoulder in similar fashion, letting just one, single tear slide down his cheek. "Al...I have to...I have to go home."  
"But Edward," Al whispered, shaking. "Ed, I...I can't...I won't let you go..." He knew his cries fell on deaf ears, yet he would keep asserting them until the end of time. He wasn't losing just a friend here. He was losing a comrade, a mentor, a partner, and, most of all, a lover._

_**"I must be strong and carry on,"**  
Edward pulled his head back so that his fiery eyes met with the ice-clouded ones of Alphonse, and he gave the very slightest of smiles. Brushing his human hand through the younger man's hair, Ed's voice fell to a soft whisper of affection. "I can't stay here, you know that. I don't belong."  
"But...but, Ed, why?" Al asked, shocked by the gentleness of the hands that touched him, of the words that flirted with his ears. Edward heightened every one of Al's senses, and the peculiar feeling of it all was something Al didn't want to lose._

_**"'Cuz I know I don't belong,"  
**Ed's eyes averted from Al's, and they misted with thought. In an almost humorous voice, Ed whispered to his beloved, "Because, Al, I can't stay here. I'm.." His face saddened. "I'm a fallen angel; the only one with black wings in a world of beautiful and kindly beings like you. I don't deserve to stay with you. And my brother…" he paused, sighed softly. "My brother needs me."_

**_"Here in Heaven." _**

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_**"Would you hold my hand,"  
**Alphonse had been the first person that Edward had ever seen, ever truly known in this new world. When the older of the two had popped up as if conjured by magic one day, with dreams of returning to some "other world", and the craziest notions that Heidriech had ever heard, Alphonse had been the only one to approach him and actually listen. He had been the one to offer up his hand to help Edward regain his footing, and take a firm stand in this world._

_**"If I saw you in Heaven?"  
**Al had been the one to suggest that they begin working together as partners on what he told Ed was rocket science, a science that would someday revolutionize the whole world. With big dreams, and hardly any change in his pocket, Alphonse had nothing to give his friend but his companionship/  
Edward, with his teachings of a greater science, of alchemy and transmutations, had accepted the boy with open arms. In the midst of the World War, the two had found solace in their hearts and in one another._

_**"Would you help me stand,"  
**Polar opposites; Al was the serene calm, and Ed was the burning passion. Al was the thinker, and Ed was the doer. For every time one was right, the other was wrong. For every theory one came up with, the other one came up with the opposite. They were the fire and ice.  
The sheath and its sword._

_**"If I saw you in Heaven?"  
**Alphonse had never seen it coming. He had established a home, a study, a meager income that he and Edward shared in buying the smallest of houses, which they also shared. They were like brothers. Al had never expected, though, how right he was in that assumption. As he had begun to harbor fantasies of living out the rest of his years with the greatest friend and mentor a man could ever have, Ed was thinking of something more._

_**"I'll find my way through night and day,"  
**Ed was dreaming of a world ten thousand miles away and a child that was waiting "on the other side". These dreams were not of concern to Al at first, of course, but, as the days dragged into weeks and the weeks dragged into months, Al began to fret over the constant exertion of labor and studying Ed was pouring into these dreams.  
Al was beginning to wonder if the dreams were something more. And he was beginning to worry that they were going to tear Ed and him apart._

_**"'Cuz I know I just can't stay,"  
**An excellent marksman of course, Al had hit right on target. Each day that passed, Edward began to push away Al. When Alphonse made a new discovery, Ed would merely comment lightly on it and then leave to study the remnants of alchemy that he still had left. When Al made food for the two of them, Ed would eat with a sparrow's appetite, then wander of on his own.  
Finally, one day, Al confronted Ed on this matter._

_**"Here in Heaven."** _

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_**"Time can bring you down,"  
**"Ed!" Alphonse's eyes bored into the other man, vicious icicles driving like needles. "Ed, hey wait up!" His strides were long and his pace steadily increasing as he sought to catch up with the quickly retreating blonde.  
"No!" Ed snarled back, testily. His gait doubled in speed, and he was moving now much quicker towards whatever it was he was searching for. His eyes were casting about like a rabbit's, carefully watching for a monster that might lunge out and take him in one gulp.  
Al's legs moved to a sprint for the last few feet, and his hand gripped Ed's shoulder, whirling him around to face him. "Ed! Why are you running?"_

_**"Time can bend your knees,"  
**"I-" Ed started, but Al could see the fear clear in his eyes. And the hurt. And the pain. Edward had never run from anything, and it was certainly a horror to him to be called on for doing something of the sort. Trying to pull away from Al, he hurriedly supplemented, "I-I wasn't running…I had to go...go get something."  
"Ed, tell me the truth."_

_**"Time can break your heart,"  
**"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Ed snapped in a random outburst of anger. His metal hand lashed out and slammed directly into Al's cheek, knocking the boy away. Elric's eyes were filled with panic, his breathing harsh and ragged, fright stiffening his limbs.  
Al crashed to the ground hard on his side, his hand moving to gently feel the place where he had been hit. A soft rise was made in his skin: the wound was sure to swell. That didn't bother him as much as the fact that:  
"You hate me."_

_**"Have you begging please,"  
**Ed blinked, his eyes betraying his fear and guilt now. His legs slipped from under him, and Al watched as he slowly collapsed to the ground, sitting back on his knees. A small tear streaked down Ed's cheek, and he cried, softly to Al, as if apologizing, "W-what? I...I don't hate you Al, I-"  
"You what?" Al said, moving forward on his hands and knees. "You what, Ed? Tell me!"  
"I love you!" Ed blurted, then slumped to the ground, sobbing horribly. His shoulders shook from under the heavy brown trenchcoat, and his hands clutched his own body tightly, trying to subdue his cascading emotion. _

_**"Begging please."  
**Al was neither abashed nor taken aback by this comment. Instead, he merely blinked, and smiled softly. His movements careful, thought-out, he started to crawl towards Edward, but was stopped as the blonde-haired teen raised his head and glared at Al with frightened, quivering gold eyes.  
"P-please, don't come closer Al. I...it can't be this way. I can't stay with you."  
"What are you talking about?" Al smiled, softly. "You can stay with me forever Ed. We can build our rocket; we can do anything together. I won't leave you, Ed. I can't leave you. Wherever you are...is Heaven."  
"That's not what I'm afraid of." Ed's eyes locked on Al's, and, as the two sat there on their haunches, sharing the feeling of dread that proved this story would not have a happy ending. "Al, you might not leave me...but...I..."  
"I will have to leave you."_

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_**"Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure,"  
**Ed was right. The second Al had approached him and told him that the Gate to the other world had been found, Ed was right there. Only by a few seconds breadth had Alphonse caught up to Elric, who had been attempting to leave without even saying goodbye.  
Well, this embrace was more of a goodbye then Al could ever have hoped for. But, it was, in no way, a sweet ending. They always said that for every ending there was a beginning. Well, of course there would be in this case. But...  
But that beginning cut Alphonse from the picture entirely._

_**"And I know there'll be no more,"  
**"Ed..." Al whimpered, clutching Edward's sleeve just as he turned away, and had been about to leave. "Edward, don't go. There's still...there's still so much you haven't seen. I don't care if you're a dark angel, or a fallen angel, or even a demon!" His eyes blinked away the tears as quickly as they were coming, and he sniffed piteously. "F-forget about your brother, Ed…I can forget about everyone else if it means keeping you. Ed…Ed, I need you."  
Ed pulled his sleeve from Al's grasp and walked the span of the room, standing now before the door. He cast back a soft gaze, filled with love, but resolve. "Al...this is goodbye. You don't understand. I can't make you. My brother…he's been through so much…turning my back on him now….I just can't do it." Turning away from the boy, Ed whispered to the gate as he flung open its doors, "Time to go home."  
"ED! NO!" Alphonse's legs under him felt like rubber. When he tried to run, tried to catch Ed and hold him there, hold him forever, Al tripped. Sprawled on the ground, his hand reached up for Ed, the tears falling from his eyes with the continuance of a light rain.  
It was too late. The darkness of the Gate reached out, and, with the arms of a million demons, it ensnared Edward, drawing him back, back into the world on the other side.'_

_**"Tears in Heaven."  
**"Don't go..." he wailed, softly. "Don't...don't go..."  
His hand reached up, but, try as he might, it couldn't reach Heaven_

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**The End?

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_**Author's Note: **I think I may have just massacred a good chance at a songfiction. God, I hope not. Just a bit of a thoughtful drabble on the part of Alphonse and Edward. No, it was not an excuse for implied Yaoi. No it was not an excuse for implied citrus. The people who read my fanfictions should by now be aware that I don't go for the "any-two-guys" pairings or things like that.  
Oh well. Believe what you will and interpret this story as you see fit. I left it hanging there in several spots so that you could form your own ideas about the characters. Picture them in your mind as you think they would be.  
Please read and review, and, as always, flames are allowed as well. (What is a good writer without a few fiction-bashers?)_


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